Cycle of Depression: Coping with lost love

Love, in the true sense of the word, gives people a natural high and a purpose to live for. But what if love comes to an end, how do people take the loss (separation) of a loved one?

Psychiatrist Ivanhoe Escartin, of the National Center for Health Promotions of the Department of Health, said people who experience being separated from a loved one or his or her better half normally go through the so-called “cycle of depression.”

The cycle named DABDA (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) explains why there are people who take their own lives, get killed or worst kill for the love that was not meant to be.

Denial is the period when the aggrieved party refuses to accept the reality of being left behind by his partner.

Anger or rage can be seen as “galit sa mundo, sa anak, sa sarili o sa ibang tao.”

Depending on the personality of the aggrieved party, emotion or anger didn’t show right away. There are two kinds of reaction to a loss of a loved one, Escartin said.

First, the person may or may not admit his or her own fault in the break up. When the person realizes her or his shortcomings, it may trigger the guilt feelings.

On the other hand, a person is capable of taking the life of another person if only to show that she had done nothing wrong or he doesn’t deserve to be abandoned.

When a person is trying to win back the love of a separated wife or husband, he or she is undergoing the cycle of bargaining.

If the person fails to woo his or her lover back, chances are the person would give in to depression.

However, the cycle does not always end up in tragedy, the doctor of behavior pointed out.

Wounded people normally end up victorious if they surpassed the grief caused by the loss of a loved one. This is called acceptance,” Escartin said.

When people learn to accept the sad reality of separation, he will learn to heal himself and try to live a new life all over again.

I guess if you have passed the stages of DABDA, you can now look for a brand new love and maybe learn the promise ring etiquette to seal your commitment to each other.

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